End of 2018, reminiscing about my early working life. Like blob-fish from deep sea that look like face is melting, when taken from pressures of natural environment. Stare reproachfully like you don’t even know who I am, man.
Started work in an internet start-up. Europe’s largest games e-tailer, Gameplay. Responsible for overall Strategy, M&A. A very exciting yet stressful environment, totally emotionally invested. Leaping, falling, tumbling chaotically towards a manic, constantly changing version of both company and self. Embraced constant learning but sometimes felt like nailing Jello to a tree.
Left a fast paced start-up environment just before burn-out to join a large corporate, Nortel Networks as Head of UK Business Development. Finally a safe, stable corporate environment in the booming telecoms sector. Perfect. Terrific!
Initially felt shocked, as if from running at 900 mph was slammed into a thick brick wall. At first it was quite cool, nice. Just being expected to sit, absorb information for months. Very slowly started to walk away from brick wall at a conservative 3 mph.
Too crazy, fucking slowly. Needed something to do to be useful. In each meeting politely requested please give me something to DO. ‘Of course, they said. Here.’ 4 mph, Duh! Sadly said, You don’t even know who I am, man.
Turns out all that chaos, confusion, fun, learning and change is what gave me shape, an identity, a personality, a much deeper understanding of self, what I truly want. Found equilibrium, nurtured softer skills like a lot of patience, endurance, resilience, creativity!