Each parent desires a close, affectionate and connected relationship, with their kids.
Despite our greatest desire and intentions, this relationship is often rife with pain, anxiety, conflict, misunderstandings, poor communication and stress. Instead of it being joyful and empowered, it ends up being embittered and complex. Despite our best intentions, children often grow up feeling neglected, unloved, uncared and invalidated. Disconnect is truly heartbreaking for parents, we want nothing more than the closest, special and loving bond, with our kids.
Nothing has a more toxic effect, than projecting own fears, insecurities, needs, expectations, past experiences, blame, guilt, failures, shame or anger, on them. This creates a dangerous, overwhelming emotional burden.
There is a way we can transform our relationship with our child. It needs a clear erspective, an innovative, participative and playful style of engagement. Trusting, releasing our fears or need to always control their decisions, is a great step. Giving them freedom and space to explore, experiment and nurture their own creativity, purpose, path and confidence, is invaluable.
Let them make a few mistakes, get off track a little to learn important life lessons, without any criticism, rejection or judgement. Such experiences greatly help them make healthy decisions, wisely chose their values, path and direction, move towards joy, fulfilment and happiness.
We are solid anchors for their ever evolving ship of life. Our intuitive awareness, deeply listening and empathetically nurturing their ‘emotional needs‘, is as equally important, as giving them material comforts. Suppression of pain, emotions, sentiments or feelings, negatively impacts their personality and personal growth. Quality of playful time spent is priceless and inspiring, meaningless quantity doesn’t work.
If we are trusted friends or advisors, empowering them with faith, rather than perceived as only an authority shelling out one-way decisions, we will feel a beautiful, admirable and gentle transformation. They are much more sensitive, appreciative, adaptive, sensible, confiding and mature, than we think they are.
Understanding how and why our children ‘trigger us‘, allows us to make necessary and positive changes, in both our lives. We will succeed in building an unbreakable and everlasting partnership of greatest spiritual, mental and emotional connections.
“There’s nothing like your mother’s compassionate and sympathetic voice, to make you want to burst into tears.”
They’re so adorable and precious, a much better, bigger, brighter version of us….
Kid – IDK (I don’t know) & IDC (I don’t care..!)
Ha ha