How you elect to spend New Year’s Eve depends on your:
1. Age
2. Remaining levels of optimism
3. Threshold of pain
Usually my main goal at a New Year’s party is to remember who I came with!
Every New Year’s I have the same question: “How did I get home?”
This New Year’s I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but didn’t wake up until January 2nd.
Help yourself. I’ve got a whole drawerful of resolutions I’m not using!
On New Year’s remember: if your cup runneth over, you’ve probably reached your limit.
Wait a second, there’s ANOTHER year? I have to do it all over again?
Love when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
Women get more excited about New Year’s Eve than men do. It’s like an excuse, you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you’re not going to keep. Next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. For men, we just call that a date!