Email: Hate father, never agrees with stuff I want to achieve. (US)
Often, life is defined as either this or that. ‘Either/or‘ mindset shuts perspectives, opportunities, relationships. ‘Either/or’ thinking is divisive at best. We hide in silos.
A ‘both/and‘ thinking creates better bonding. Makes our silos permeable. ‘Both/and‘ thinking accepts ‘not knowing or judging‘. We don’t know everything, curiously soften and open. Approach patiently, lovingly, compassionately. Perhaps we share similar goals but hold different perspectives or ideas about best ways to fulfil.
Agree to focus on both our own thoughts/emotions and how unique perspectives can dissolve hard lines. Look where ‘both/and‘ can peacefully co-exist.
When standing in the middle of a river we feel the power of flowing water. When we stand on a mountain top the same river looks calm. Both perceptions of the river are correct, we’ve just changed the vantage point. Let’s take a moment to zoom in and out to balance our perspective taking.
Without respect, unconditional love we can’t be compassionate, forgiving. A kind, humble, honest nudge of calm can shift a storm. Be the loving nudge, not the storm.