Email: Older sister always wins arguments. How can I win? (US)
We have tried to win arguments or be assertive in conversations, especially as kids.
Maybe, it’s the rush to feel powerful or intelligent, perhaps a natural resistance to bending or desire to take control. Whatever, at times we play to win, subconsciously.
The irony is that winning rarely feels as sweet or rewarding, as we would imagine.
More importantly, time spent listening, empathising and understanding works wonders. Humbly, losing an argument but winning a heart or mind, is a much better deal, offers great value, potential and satisfaction than competitiveness.
Our communication skills face an incredibly tough challenge, when we chose to lose!