Hilarious and quirky one liners:
- I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure
- Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done
- If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three
- I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode
- A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand
- Maybe you should eat some makeup, you can be pretty on the inside too
- I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness
- Your life can’t fall apart, if you never had it together
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day
- A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove you don’t need it
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments
- One advantage of talking to yourself, is you know at least somebody’s listening
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it
- Alcohol..! Because no great story started with someone, eating a salad
- Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
- If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it
- God created the world, everything else is made in China
- You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
Crazy stuff…
