Reminiscing about silly, hilarious versions of English, heard while in India..
Teachers advice – “You can easily settle the matter, in a nice, compromising manner”..
Medical examination centre, 1st floor – “Medical examination done here, good entrance from the rear”….
Hotel job advert – “Receptionists wanted, need 3 one night stands, in a month” (night duty)…
Friend – “Teacher is sitting on my head and eating my brains”….
PT teacher – “Run and rotate the ground 4 times, you’re lazy”…
Guest – “My sleep is coming, but I am going to awake, eyeballs open”…
Message at the gate of a large mansion – “Beware of wild dogs and big, ghost mans”…
Hair salon – “Cheap child cutting, wife cutting, any type of cutting”….
Tailor – “Alterations of men and women done quickly here”…
Visitor – “Today morning is raining outside”…(when does it rain inside?)
Dry cleaners – “Clean suits, tops, bed shits”…
Road sign (construction) – “Heavy erection in progress”…
Road sign – “Road is hilly, don’t be silly, you fool”…
Road sign – “Go slow, accident porn area”…
Temple – “Women wearing trousers on their legs, are not incoming…”
Petrol station & cafe – “Eat here and get gas”…
Park – “Please do not empty your dog here”…
Rosy Bar – “Our bar is not open because it is now closed”…
Antique store – “Don’t touch yourself, ask staff, they will be happy”…
Mall – “Shoplifters will be prostituted”…
Job advert – “A male, salesgirl is wanted”…
