Who we are…

There’s different personalities living within, bubbling up with distinct tones, voices. Puzzling, chaotic, overwhelming! A playful inner child with innocent wants, a raging voice caged in pride, an adventurous voice curious to explore, a skeptical voice needing self-assurance, a rational voice balancing efforts, an innovative voice inspired to break barriers, an energetic voice that builds the new, an indulgent voice with desires.

Also, encounter remarkably generous opinions about how should we live, according to their cosmic magic ball. Often, dear one’s lovingly share ideas with best of intentions. Hugely appreciated, but only we know what inspires, challenges, innermost aspirations. Each one’s journey, destiny, experiences, expectations is unique, inexplicable. Futile to generalise with broad brush analysis, analogy. Perceptive, empathic, compassionate is the best way forward. A listening ear, a loving touch and just bring there is much more valuable. Silence is more powerful, meaningful.

To add drama, ghosts of past disappointments, conditioned behaviours project all doom and gloom – defensive, detached. Stifling sensitivity like watching a horror movie! These blood sucking vampires blindfold, push away abundance, beautiful experiences.

Eventually, we pleasingly find convenient spaces, escapes or comfort, in the familiar, convinced we don’t deserve better or classify and file our delightful dreams as just frivolous fantasies, illusions, seduction traps, mere figments of our untamed imaginations, far beyond the realms of realistic, grounded and tangible possibilities.

Thus, we are solemnly gifted with precious memories, missed opportunities, guilt, loss and regret, clinging to us like creepy crawlies! Sometimes, we do awaken due to an enlightening lightbulb moment, boldly try our best, to retrieve and reverse, give up the internal the tug of war. Luckily, it’s never too late to make things right, ever! Spotting repetitive patterns, choices or mistakes is an art, though, still keep making a few and working hard on my creative skills!

Taking a chill pill or preferably tequila shots, surely helps in regaining our centre, positive equilibrium, emotional balance and increased tolerance. We can’t control what happens outside, but can gratefully process, sift and balance what happens within. If not, a few large glasses of beer or red wine, is exactly what we need to scream, shout, say and do absolutely everything one wanted but couldn’t, purge the venom!

A big believer in conventional ways of living from B.C. (submissive, a quiet conformist, contrary to popular belief!), though sometimes, these shockingly bury us under their legacy or obligations. Under it’s spell, we thanklessly sacrifice our own vision, freedom of expression, creativity and well-being. These somewhat cemented approaches need a secret health check, either refreshed or rooted out with a shot of new, fresh perspectives.

Vulnerability is our biggest asset, but it’s widely perceived as a weakness or risk. Why is the unseen or unexperienced intimidating or unpredictable, whereas fitting in at all costs, acceptable and  praiseworthy? Where’s the actual boundary between the collective and ‘I’, so we don’t lose ourselves, trying to make others happy? Should we energytically mask our authenticity, with a seemingly stoic, sparkly exterior, concealing our unexplored ambitions and curious child-like self? Quest for material possessions always wins over personal passions? Why do we distrust our innate, intuitive strength and judgement, which genuinely illuminates our sense of direction, as our divine guiding star and light?

How do we get off this crazy merry go round, spinning hamster wheel, bumpy rollercoaster, rocky road or rough waters, surrender our need to control the organic flows? ‘Hermit mode’ encourages overthinking or emotional isolation, isn’t a viable solution. At the other end of the spectrum,  thoughtless indulgences, meaningless revelries are great fun or drowning in specific goals or tasks to distract our energy, however, it’s unsustainable, a sort of void still exists, leading to a saturation point. Actively experimented with both these approaches over a lifetime, just offered fleeting relief. Facing challenges sensibly, sensitively and humbly, disables its power and a clear path is illuminated. Seeking support is a sign of strength!

As a first, courageously held an invisible round-table at the beach, giving each of these feisty, wonderful personalities a generous chance to speak. Surprisingly, they freely shared their thoughts and observations, even bizarre traits and skeletons in their closet, in a friendly manner. Felt at a loss, wish I had a few spicy stories to tell, blow my own trumpet! Unfortunately, studied in a prestigious convent, lived a life surrounded either by nuns or army commandos, a naive alien! Anyways, was very receptive and listened attentively, respected their view points, totally detached from any fears of rejection, criticism or outcomes. Absolutely flustering, fascinating, fiery, fun expressions! Graciously, thanked them for their valuable comments, apologised for any unintentional hurt, politely noted aspects directly resonating and sort of understood by limited intellectual abilities. Meanwhile, gathered a few intrigued onlookers, watching passionate self-talk. Shocked and surely doubted mental sanity! Love talking in the morning mirror, ‘good morning sweetheart, how are you?’!

Sensitively, unveiled beautiful bonding and humour, wisdom and acceptance, love and healing, forgiveness and gratitude, all consistently stored in these tiny, special, untouched, unknown fragments of ourselves, so called atoms! Think, these make us whole and who we are!

New, confident and positive beginnings manifest when we realise, respect our self-worth and value, confidently be who we are, equally treat ourselves as a priority and love unconditionally, alongside those who truly matter the most!

Away from the mess and loud noise, in the serenity of nature, reflected patiently, openly and honestly, on all interesting visualisations, revelations! Smiled and gracefully said to self, ‘I support you, believe in you, chose to be you, always’ ✍️❣️