Starting the 1st of January 2025, the blog will pick a ‘WORD OF THE WEEK’, to share, explore the meaning & significance of the selected word like passion, purpose, playfulness. Here’s an expression for the word – strength.
STRENGTH:
I believe, “to share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable, to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
After my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, the words that I heard most often from family were ‘you have to be strong’. At the same time, a school friend lost her battle with breast cancer. Friends advised, ‘stay strong, you are so strong’. In the following months, I ran, stumbled & dragged myself through the darkest valley of my life. This was uncharted territory. ‘Be strong,’ well-wishers said.
In the gruelling months of their treatment, I had been strong. Numb. Choosing to have faith, clinging to hope. Until, one day, the feat of being that strong tower was simply too much to bear. I’d built a dam to keep back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm me, but that dam couldn’t possibly stand the weight of those emotions forever. It gave way. I sobbed like never before in my mother’s arms. This expression that I’d so feared, this display of vulnerability that I had for so long resisted, had finally caught up with me. Yet, I felt no shame, anger or disappointment in my supposed weakness. Instead, I felt other things. Peace. Love. Acceptance. Humility. Trust.
I realised that in my efforts to be strong, I had been denying myself the very feelings I’d wanted to experience all along. Too often, we build walls around ourselves in the midst of grief, pain or challenges, inflating ourselves up to be proud people who don’t need help, people who are getting by just fine, people who are strong enough to weather any storm on our own. We close ourselves off to feeling anything in the name of self-preservation, distancing from emotions that scare us because of how weak, vulnerable or incapable they may make us seem to our loved ones.
However, it’s only by feeling those daunting emotions that we invite love in to strengthen us. It’s actually a beautiful thing, because in that weakness, we find the compassion to build us up again. In that moment, transparency & open communication win. An incredible opportunity to feel the sensitivity & to be sensitive.
When we deny our relationships the chance to be vulnerable, we restrict expansion. We stop the flow of empathy that has the potential to give us more strength than we ever thought possible. If a loved one wants to hold us while we cry, let them. If they want to be a listening ear, speak from the depths of our heart. If they ask us how we are doing, answer with honesty, even if it means admitting that we are hurting. It is empowering. Now, in the moments of weakness, I see strength. I see courage. It’s in our struggles that we find resilience, in our challenges that we find perseverance, in our vulnerabilities that we find peace & the will to go on. In the end, it’s through our weaknesses that we become strong again.
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