Email: Kid doesn’t perform at the same level as the brother at school. (US)
Comparison is a common approach to ascertain the performance of children. We can give examples of other kids accomplishments as a way to motivate or instigate competition, to push excellence. But, unknowingly it is very counter-productive. Comparing kids actually makes them anxious, stressed & sad. Impacts their self-esteem & emotional well-being. It can also stir jealousy & self-doubt. Rather than embracing challenges with a positive spirit, the kid can feel unworthy or unwanted.
Each kid is naturally gifted. We all have unique talents, aptitudes, strengths, skills & dreams. We can set benchmarks instead & appreciate little efforts. Encourage the child & sensitively devise solutions together. No unrealistic expectations, just compassionate support. Engage in a playful learning approach to polish their abilities & aspirations. We can mentor & support them to curiously & creatively be better than before, not to be better than others. Above all, we can tell them how truly special they are, each day!
