Don’t touch self, ask staff…

 

Re-posting top posts of 2018

Reminiscing silly, hilarious versions of English, heard while in India..

Teachers advice – You can easily settle the matter, in a compromising manner

Medical centre, 1st floor – Medical examination done here, entrance from the rear

Hotel advert – Receptionist wanted, 3 one night stands only, in 1 month (night duty)

Friend – Teacher is sitting on my head, eating my brains

PT teacher – Run, rotate ground 4 times, you’re lazy

Guest – My sleep is coming, but I’m going to awake, eyeballs open

Gates of large mansion – Beware of wild dogs, big, ghost mans

Hair salon – Cheap child cutting, wife cutting, any type of cutting

Tailor – Alterations of men, women done quickly here

Visitor – Today morning is raining outside (when does it rain inside?)

Dry cleaners – Clean suits, tops, bed shits

Road sign (construction) – Heavy erection in progress

Road sign – Road is hilly, don’t be silly, you fool

Road sign – Go slow, accident porn area

Temple – Women wearing trousers on legs, not incoming

Petrol station & cafe – Eat here, get gas

Park – Please don’t empty dog here

Rosy Bar – Bar is not open because it’s now closed

Antique store – Don’t touch self, ask staff, they’ll be happy to help

Mall – Shop-lifters will be prostituted

Job advert – A male, salesgirl wanted

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