Email: Teenage kid doesn’t listen, always a struggle? (HK)
Teens tune out simply because they can, can’t force them to listen. ‘Rebels without a cause’! A natural urge to feel empowered as adults. No perfect approaches, try creative ways to interact. More we try to make them behave the way we want, more they’ll resist. ‘Blah, blah…can’t hear you’!
Talk honestly, directly. Let them decide, feel empowered. Influence, negotiation skills to naturally steer to 1-2 choices we prefer. Involve actively in decision-making, conscious efforts to alleviate their fears. Essentially a win-win situation, no struggles! Openly acknowledge feelings, encourage to share, not to suppress emotions.
What’s our real goal? What do we want them to understand, follow? Be empathetic to new perspectives, ideas, plans. Sometimes, pleasantly surprised! Compassionate, clear, calm conversations hit bulls-eye! Believe, trust great strength of our bond.
Forgive mistakes to harmonise, avoid drama. They’re sensitive, sensible enough to learn lessons for personal growth. When a kid gets prickly, pretends not to hear – stay patient, balanced. Focus on specific issues. Be politely assertive, understand their moods, traits. Control reactions, relax. Rely on friends for support, parents at school, counsellors to share challenges, seek expert advice.
Selflessly assure we care, always be there in both good, bad times. Don’t judge, compare, criticise. They’ll feel free to share silly secrets, darkest fears. Engage in playful activities to deeply relate. Teens go through transitional stressful times, as well. At times, need to disappear into their own world of imaginations. Relax, seek practical opportunities to inspire, challenge, stimulate, stretch their minds.