Looking at college pictures (mates, tutors). So nostalgic. A crazy lesson comes to mind.
Humans can alter their lives by altering attitudes of minds, a little. Despite being the kind of person who loves generating self-improvement lists, have never been a big fan of creating a specific expectations list for self or others.
Life at MBA school pushed me to be an over-achieving, Type A perfectionist! The very best of sorts! Parents, tutors, batch mates, community, people I didn’t even know were so convinced I had potential (why?!). Faced a huge amount of comparative, competitive envy, jealousy. Why, what purpose did that serve?
When expectations are high we live in fear of failure, confined to self-defeating patterns. Couldn’t really be natural, enjoy casual moments, explore spontaneous stuff. Always guarded in fear of being judged, self-critical. My own expectations of me? Surprisingly, just wanted to be me, around people who knew me and still thought it was good enough!
Eventually for my sanity, decided to lower expectations. This idea initially ran counter to everything others believed to be true. My little sneaky secret, created positive energy, like a wild pony!
Crafted a fearless, fantastic, freaky plan. For two terms, left projects, assignments incomplete, didn’t answer questions correctly, intentionally. Aim was clear – hit the class average to be accepted, recognised as normal..! Who cared about grades, so liberated. Rather happy to see grades falling faster than speed of light! Made mental space to collaborate with others, shared notes, patiently explained tough concepts. Really accepted as their own.
Most missed by the librarian! Till, tutors outsmarted me, WTF. But reaped natural rewards! A big lesson almost anything is do-able if we break it down into a plan, process! Little things make the most difference, brings joy. Prioritise what matters the most!
Now, this attitude is quite engrained. Absolutely helps in unconditional, non-judgemental, compassionate, genuine, spontaneous self-expressions. Plenty of playfulness, fire, energy, humour, passion! Creatively, fluidly free to flow, experience the unknown, trust the universe…